Ransom Notes
In 2021 I was housesitting alone in a foreign country, when a strict lockdown was enforced due to covid. As the severity and regulations grew, my days of isolation turned into months, and I struggled greatly with my mental health.
I never could have imagined that those early journal entries and play with some leftover mosaic materials would turn into such a deeply meaningful process of salvation; but my creative practices truly did save me in that critical context.
Just as my experience of time was melding, my artistic experimentation was too, and my written words made their way into my mosaic work via a local paper delivery at my door, which gave me further ‘tesserae’ to use as my traditional materials were running out.
My submission to you is a most intimate snapshot of a unique, evolutionary process of a deeply dark and difficult time in my life. I am only just now feeling able to release it into a greater realm because the safety and ‘normalcy’ of home and my people has finally integrated, allowed this desperate part of myself to be shown.
Fine Art Segment (Wall Mosaics)
30 x 30 x 8
8
Materials List
Scrap pieces of china plates, vitreous glass, and smalti. Cut up local newspaper and found metal chain.
Artist Statement
Alone with my thoughts, I am held captive by the stories I tell myself.
Lockdown days stream into weeks, into months, into consciousness.
Looping thoughts, spiralling journals, round chatter;
my mind runs in circles with no way out.
Leftover bits, scrap substrates, the local paper at my door…
Tangible items trying to tame un-tangible time
I can only journey inwards - word, picture, thought, alchemy
Can gold be mined in this liminal time?
Thirteen mindful mandalas.
One for each long week of solitude in a foreign land.
Held hostage in the dark, introspection is painfully personal.
when you are held ransom by no-one but yourself.
Timeline:
1. One day I woke up again
2. It’s all about me
3.I can only speak for myself
4. Below the surface I speak in tongues
5.Hostage to my doubt
6.Shame tastes like eating alone, over, and over, and over.
7.Who will love me if I don’t exist?
8.Another wasted day
9.Alone is the darkest colour
10.Limbo
11.Submerged, I can’t pray clearly
12.Things I tell myself while drowning
13. Silence smothers me to sleep every night.
